Rolly Poly Micah

Hey everyone. I hope that the last post didn't scary to many of you off. I want to apologize to you who wee expecting a happy picture of Micah and got blasted with that. I will try next time to warn you guys a day or two ahead of time.

Now for the Micah update. My child is model in a rolly poly kind of way. He has mastered the back to stomach roll and his stomach to back roll, though awkward and funny, is effective. To roll from his stomach to his back he has to get his butt as high as he can. Then he lets the momentum of it falling to one side pull the rest of his body over.

I have had to install the crib bumpers to keep him from wedging his arms and legs between the crib bars and the wall. He definitely rolls around in the bed like his mother did. It is almost like "Where's Waldo" looking in the baby monitor at night. I think he know where the blind spots are in the camera because he goes straight for them.

He also has a Bumbo now. For those of you not in the know, a Bumbo is a baby seat that helps them sit up. The only problems Micah has with his Bumbo is that his thunder thighs barely fit in the seat and that he thinks if he leans far enough over he can get out.

I am attaching a picture of him in his Bumbo watching my dog Barrett. There is just something between a boy and his dog. Luckily in this case it is the back door. I expect Micah to be riding Barrett in the next few years. Or Barrett dragging Micah around the yard. I will let you know which comes first.

I hope this installment of As Micah's World Turns has been a much more enjoyable experience for you all. And as always, I leave you with this. If you really lived everyday like it was your last, then when it was your last you would have really lived. Love , Laugh, Learn, Live

Beware: Another serious blog

Be warned this blog can be very emotional and may cause tears!

This blog spawns from a song I heard on the radio. Usually if a song start talking about passing away or leaving or anything along those lines I change it quick. But Wednesday night was different. Mercy Me's Homesick came on and I made myself listen to it. By the end of the song tears were streaming down my face and my chest physically hurt. If you get a chance to listen to it do so but not in a moving car.
For the past month or so work has enabled me to put the sad thoughts in the back of my mind. The only problem with this is that they reappear as dreams. There have been very few nights that I did not dream that Kathy was still around and awoke to the shocking discovery that I was wrong. Waking up once or twice a night to that horrific realization can really mess with your head.
Anyway back to the song. There is a part that kind of asks when does the singer get the chance to go to heaven too. I want to start off by letting you all know that I have no plans, or have I ever had plans of ending my own life. This is more of a "Hey God you can take me know, I ready and willing" kind of thing. Every once in a while I will lie in bed and almost wish that the next breathe was my last and the next thing I saw was God with Kathy by his side. But then I am reminded that I have a son who I love that needs me here. The shattered piece of my heart move in two direction.
For those of you who don't know my brother just got married to a great girl. I think she is a great fit for the family. But that did not make the wedding any less painful. I did alright for most of it. The only time I almost lost it is during the wedding there was a slide show of baby pictures and one of my sister in laws pictures reminded me of one of Kathy's. This coupled with the fact that Kathy was not there for this hit me hard.
My heart has become a little cold at times. When I am around couples, I find myself wondering which one of them has to pick up the pieces of their life when the other one dies. (I did warn you this was a tough blog, it is even tougher to write then it is to read.) I try not to see people that way, but my rose colored glasses got stepped on and all I have for the moment is the dark welding goggles.
I am write you all this, not so you will sorry for me, not so you have a reason to pity me, but because most of you reading this know and love me and Micah. So when you ask me how I am doing and I tell you "I'm doing well" know that I have to say that just to take the next breathe. I know that Micah needs me, and that God has a plan for both of us, but it sure would be nice not to hurt for a little while.
If you get nothing out of this but this then that is fine. Your prayers get me out of bed in the morning, get me in the shower, drive me to work, give me the power to teach the wonderful 19 students I havein my class, get me home, and give me the strength to love Micah enough for two parents. Please do not stop! I am not alright. I am standing only by Gods power. I love you all and promise the next post will be the regular warm and fuzzy with happy pictures of my beautiful son.
As always tell people you love them, never assume that they really know how much.